Insomnia

Never bring workloads to bed, that is what you will get..! =) (the title...)

Anyways,
Had fun with a bunch of friends chatting for 2 hours about ridiculous ideas from things like flying to Taiwan for Jimmy Johns to things like Sleeping being a university subject to be taken by all students. That brighten my day (night) up!

Well, its been near the end of the quarter, but the workload just doesn't seem to decrease. Taking 5 major courses is definitely hectic. I have to juggle from one subject to the other, and to try to maintain the overall grades evenly. And of course, I get upset every time I missed my targeted results.Yet, compared to the last few quarters, having an internal goal and a prepared mind definitely is different from flowing through day by day without one.

Knowing that now I have a goal, and by when it should be achieved, that is probably what is driving me now. It's like... time isn't enough to spend! In order to achieve that goal, you have to fulfill this and that, fight the fear, take up challenges, do the undesirables. I am in the stage of learning to handle what I once gave up on. It's not like I did give up on me the first place, but it happens, well, unconsciously and natural. It's just like how you took a wrong path down the maze. You knew you once had a goal, but you lost your direction. You knew you want to be someone, but you had too many choices that you lost what you wanted to pursue. And it takes time to realize you are on the wrong track. And sometimes, worse, you may not even realize you were.

Well, I am on my way getting out of that maze (hopefully). But getting out of one, means going into the other. Let's just hope "al iz Well"... =)

Good night folks..!

With a Smile

I smiled looking back at the old blog posts...

There is...well.. a huge difference between the topics of the start of 2011 and the end of 2011 and beyond..!
lols...

More to Overcome

Well,

Being motivated is one thing, able to handle the stress produced from trying to be the best is another.
Now I recalled why I loss to myself back then - giving up due to fear, terrible self emotional management and stability.

You better do something about it!
You are so not gonna fall into the same route again...!
Now that you have a dream, a future goal, if you don't do something about it, you will never reach it.
你不尝试突破，哪来的成功，进步？

Good luck Adeleine..
May you find the right path, the right mind, the right action..

Escaping the Million Paths for One

Millions of routes presented,
Decisions upon me,
How am I to remove all, to choose and to find,
The one and only;
All others lead to none,
while one leads to all;
The one will decide to remove myself,
from all constraints, all sadness and memories,
that the millions of routes took me.
The one will bring me new hope, joy and laughter,
Leaving the millions behind,
The one - the only solution.

If only it shows itself,
The millions of routes all too tempting,
Yet all leads to none;
I still fall in,
Routes themselves are human,
Guiding me to them.
They are impossible thoughts, yet misguiding, enticing..

Oh, Power of the Universe!
Assist me;
Direct me to where I belong,
Grasping for help in the darkness,
I need light...!

Do Not Fear, But Believe..

Believe in yourself, and you will find that one day, no matter how long it takes, you will definitely find it surprising that you have finally gone through the hardest period.

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us"  -- Helen Keller

I'm Charged and I'm Rrrrready

Here in the states, I have been through the ups and downs of life, for the good I believe.

Being quite low for many many months, today, finally...! I feel refreshed and energized, something that I have been craving for...! I have to shout to the world now -- I'm born again!

Here I have to say to my friends that I have been an asshole for the past months..! I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for being so obsessed about myself. I don't like it, but I have been emotionally unstable then. I have been going through a difficult time, fighting with myself. I was trying my best to face it myself.

My friends may not know what I had gone through, but.. having them by my side, I think that is the only thing that supported me till now. I have to thank my friends for supporting me till the very end. Friends are those who mentally supported you , by not supporting you physically. Friends are those who know you are going through a hard time, but still watch you from aside, while letting you grow stronger day by day, when you walk through the path.

It was hard alright, but now, i'm ready to face the future. I'm truly proud of myself now. I have won the battle. I have gained back my pride, my confidence and my happiness. I'm charged and I'm ready..! Hello WORLD!!!

Quote of the day: Cherish your good friends and have a positive mindset! These 2 may sound weird together, but, trust me, whenever you are down and upset, no matter how long it takes, these are the substances to regain what you crave for at the very beginning when you are away from your parents.

What I wanna be...

As I am moving closer towards the working life,

I feel the need to actually set myself a path to secure a future career..

Well, my friend Lim has already set his really well; what he has to do is just follow according to his plan, and that's it.

For me, well, I am a marketing major, two years to go and I'm done with a degree....then what else...? I have no idea how my path would look like.

I do have thoughts about many things. From working in a company to opening my own business.

If I work for a company, what should I work as? What kind of company should I choose? I would like to work in a company full of fun. But somehow, I have to boost my confidence and my ability to talk fluently. Marketing majors, how am I to convince someone when I can't even speak in an American accent if I am to work here. I still have my very Asian accent even though i have been here in USA for 6 months. And I guess another problem I have is that my resume don't look good alright...! I haven't been in any clubs or associations taking up post...! =='' Means this makes it even harder for me. Well, if I still don't do anything about it, I'm so doomed! ;p What makes it more grueling, is that i am not working...!

On the other hand, what if I want to open my own business? What kind of business would it be then? Oh god.... Well, I am such an immature person that really need myself to nag on me...! If not.... procrastination will win the race and I will be so gone with it.

I am thinking of majoring another specialization. Well, hmm.... there's no point taking up a major that I have no single idea on. Plus, the point is I do not know what I want to be...! But will it be a good idea to do so or...?

Well life's a disaster.....! ;p Hmm... I really should be serious about it already. 1 and a half years left for me and I'm cut with financial support....!=='' Adeleine... you have to be more serious about yourself already!